How to Accept Your Character Traits

Why You Might Have A Little Libra in You: How to Accept Your Character

Libra Season is from September 23rd-October 22nd

I was born on October 14. Meaning, I was born during Libra Season.

My Mama tells me I should’ve been born September 30th, but maybe my laidback Libra qualities were already in effect.

When I was growin’ up, I didn’t think much into the meaning of my astrological sign until high school. With the help of the Internet, getting my first non-parental controlled free Yahoo email and the horoscope section being the first thing I see on my homepage, these factors helped me discover what a Libra was and if my daily horoscope was “the story of my life”. I would always like to compare horoscope sites. Finding the best one that seemed the most positive prediction of the day, week or month.

However, it wasn’t until I joined Rainbow theater, a multicultural theater arts troupe at UCSC, and met my extended family did I realize how similar Libras are to one another.

During this month of reflection, explore some of the following Libran character traits and determine for yourself which ones are universal, pertain to you specifically, or they're just uniquely Libra.

Character Trait #1: Indecisive

indecisive (definition) | prone to wavering between two or more possible actions

Ugh...I dislike this word so much, but it’s so true. And the thing I realized about my indecisiveness in particular is that it usually pops up when I need to decide the best solution regardless of the situation. Por exemplo, when it comes to food, that’s when I really notice my indecisiveness. Like I’ll be chillin’. You know watchin’ some Netflix. All of a sudden my stomach is like,

“Hey! I’m hungry.”

So I respond naturally by literally sitting for another 10-15 MINUTES trying to decide on what the f to eat. And especially since I went slightly vegetarian, 

Meaning, I still have a deep love for poultry and seafood with a little lamb on the side please.

 I’ll be having a conversation with my stomach like,

Do you want a turkey burger from Carl’s Jr.? Or we could have a grilled cheese from In n Out? Ooo and that Indian restaurant just opened up. We can go basic and order masala and naan.

Why do I do that? Food is food. But I’m sitting there with all these options flashing by in my mind like a LCD scrolling text belt.

Don’t lie! You know you had one too!

So when I get fed up (mainly because now I’m Hangry), I either pick the place that’s closest to me or say f it and get both

Porque no los dos

Well though my indecisiveness can be negative, I usually use it as a positive. If I’m indecisive about someone’s plan or unsure about an event I was invited to, etc, I’m most likely gonna go against it. Because if I’m having these thoughts, chances are something’s gonna pop off that I’m not down for (which usually happens 99.9% of the time). And because of that reason, I’ll claim my indecisiveness for both the positive and negative outcomes that come from it.

Character Trait #2: Can’t Say “No”

God do you know how easy my life would be if I said No.

Just for the one time

 However, I end up using one of my yes phrases like,

Fasho, I’m down”, “I’m down for whatever”, “Fasho sounds good to me”, “Ya, I’ll be there”, “Yes, I gotchu” or “Yes.

Knowing full well that my schedule says otherwise. What’s eight hours of sleep when I can go out into the wee morning? What’s food when I need to go to a work meeting in five minutes? What’s sanity when I gotta go to a meeting, complete a project and be a representative at an event all in one day?

True Story

I have a tendency to put myself on the backburner, on the shelf and locked away in the basement in order to be a support system for someone else. Because chances are if no one else will be there for you, I’ll be there, because I’m always too down. You need someone to turnip with? I gotchu. Need someone to give you advice? Call me Oprah. Need someone to be a support system? I’ll support you like life support.

It’s not until recently that I’ve been learning how to use the word No. It's been really enlightening so far especially depending on who I say No to. Because the ones that are so used to hearing yes may also be the ones taking most of your energy. 

Saying yes to all the things is emotionally investing yourself in WAY too much. The key here is to reflect on who or what you say yes to and why. Do you continuously invest in this person or thing? How often do you do so? And is there a balance between this investment and yourself? 

If the answer is no, then it's time to learn how to start saying it. 

Character Trait #3: Charming

charming (definition) | extremely pleasing | delightful | entrancing

I haven’t heard the word charming used in recent years except mainly in Disney movies. When I think of charming, I think bright white smile and witty one liners delivered in a suave or flirty manner. Either way, I don’t exhibit it or at least I don’t feel like I do.

To this day, I still don’t. What I’ve always done when meeting new people or in conversation with friends and family is to just be perceptive. I read out people’s energies and respond in kind. So if I sense that you’re having a bad or stressful day, let’s go chill and vent about it. If you’re distressed cause you need help getting somewhere, I’ll be down to swerve you up and make your life easier. I find that most of the people I’ve met and are currently friends with is because I took the time to see what they’re all about.

But maybe people think I charm people to feel comfortable. Or I’m forward in my approach that it may come off flirty. At the end of the day, I’m just a too down person who just tries to meet people where they are. 

Character Trait #4: Romantic

romantic (definition) | responsive to the appeal of what is idealized, heroic or adventurous

I’m very stated by the definition.

I love acts of heroism, both public and unsung. The measures that push men, women and children to accomplish these acts always leave me inspired. It also leaves me in awe of not only the willpower of the human mind but also the heart’s enormous room for compassion for others to feel and nourished to grow.

I’m also adventurous in the sense that I’m down to go somewhere new, try new and diverse foods, try and learn languages as well as immerse myself in different activities or cultures.

And I’m also an idealist. I am so guided by the vision of a project that I have to make a conscious effort to complete the practical steps to make the vision a reality. I would always envision what a project or an interaction between myself and another person would look like, the response I would get from it and the bond that I would nurture from then on. But like most dreams and visions, they stay in your head until you actualize them. So for example, blogging and Youtube were ideas that I wanted to pursue. But I had to take time and believe in myself that I had the practical tools to actualize those ideas.

Which I am accomplishing now.

I’m romantic in this form of idealism because of the constant time that I spend in my head space. I just gotta learn to balance out some practicality.  

But if we are talking about romantic in regards to love and relationships, naw I’m not a romantic.

But then again I’ve never been in a relationship so… moving on.

I enjoy seeing couples be all mushy gushy with one another.

mushy gushy (definition) | sentimental and affectionate as F

But then I also like to see them have an argument every once in awhile too.

Cause to me, those contradictions and arguments are just natural responses to the growth that is happening in the relationship. And if you can weather through that argument, learn the lessons from it as well as become a better person because of it, then to me that is a real ass relationship. But then again I’ve never been in a relationship so...moving on  

But if someone is showing me that same mushy gushy affection, I literally become a turtle and make myself super small. And it’s not because I’m uncomfortable.

Although it may look like it.

I just don’t know how to handle the feels.

feels (definition) | a person feeling ALL THE EMOTIONS at once i.e. The feels comin’ on too STRONG! I don’t know what to do

So when I make myself small, I ball all the feels up in my body. I guess to make all the emotions I’m feeling more manageable. So I don’t feel so overwhelmed. It’s hard to describe. But I rather be the heroic, adventurous idealist than the mushy gushy, “The Notebook” watching romantic.

Sidenote: I’ve never watched “The Notebook”. I’ve only seen clips. And from the clips, it’s frankly not my cup of tea *begins running away from Ryan Gosling fangirls*

I’ll be sentimental as f when it comes to my family and friends. But I don’t think I can be lovey dovey sentimental. Maybe when I meet my partner and we start a relationship with one another, I’ll switch that sentimental energy to a romantic one. Till then, I’m cool bruh.

Character Trait #5: Detached

detached (definition) | becoming distant either physically or emotionally

This trait was interesting, because:

Reason #1: I’m already a hermit

Unknowingly and purposefully, I distance myself. For example, I unknowingly distance myself from my family and friends when I don’t follow through on a text or call. Literally I’ll be texting my friend right. But the second I set my phone down somewhere, I won’t remember to go look for it. That’s how detached I am with tech. Which explains...

Reason #2: Why I purposefully unplug myself

Mainly I unplug myself from technology addictions. I mean I may get trapped up in a little bit of Youtube and Netflix binge watching, but I’m just not as attached to other forms of media like Twitter and Instagram.

But I’m gradually learning now. Though literally it’s like dragging kids to school and pulling teeth at the same damn time.

But the main cause for my detachment is from the need to emotionally detach when things go south. I am hyper aware of my emotions to the point where I know my limits. So if a person were to push me off into the danger zone, well they better have a bunker, because I'm about to set it off. And I’m not the one to get loud and get all up in yo face about it. I’m a relatively calm person which equates to scary calm anger. 

Those who’ve had a taste of it describe it as goosebumps raising anger.

So by detaching myself from a person or a certain situation when I feel myself reaching that limit, I’m protecting myself or the person or people from my calm rage.

Meaning, what the horoscope folks are calling is a negative trait, I see it as a positive. I detach myself to unplug from the world around me and reassess who I am. And I detach to protect others from my anger.

It may seem negative, because I am refusing to be "socially active". But in reality, ain’t nobody got time to be social all day everyday. Sometimes you just gotta unplug yourself and recalibrate your life.

Character Trait #6: Solution Oriented

I love solving problems. Or at least attempting to solve them. I love resolution. So if a situation is left unresolved, bet I wouldn’t be stayin’ up all night, if I had to, trying to find a solution. And it doesn’t even have to be work related issues. Even when personal issues arise between friends and/or family, I can’t help but want to step in and help resolve it.

However, I am patient and understanding. So if a person asks for me not to step in just yet or at all, I’ll respect their request. But it won’t stop me from thinking about it. Which is why I hate unresolved personal issues. 

Don’t let open wounds settle. Because if it’s not dealt with, they fester and turn out way worse than the original situation #treatthemwounds.

I won’t front and say that I don’t still have some unresolved issues both with myself and others. With myself, I’m learning to resolve them especially through my writing. Tackling on parts of myself that I’m learning to accept. And with others, some of the issues happened so long ago that it’s in the “bringing up old shit” category on my internal review board.

But with current friends and new people that come into my life, I strive to be upfront as possible. So if we were to part ways, I now have 99 problems but they won’t be one. All in all, resolution is a healthy practice to follow. Whether the situation resolves in a positive, negative or neutral way. Take what lesson you need from it and move forward. Cause you don’t want to miss a new opportunity, experience or person, just cause you holdin’ onto some unnecessary and unresolved baggage.

Character Trait #7: Self Indulgent

self indulgent (definition) | doing or tending to do exactly what one wants especially when this involves pleasure or idleness

Of course I’m not gonna see this as a negative trait. But come on. Who doesn’t self indulge from time to time.

Self indulgence stems from when I stop whatever I’m doing for the sake of doing what I want. When it’s completely necessary.

Because when I literally feel used up to the point of emptiness and exhaustion, I refuel myself through indulging in activities either by myself or with others. Going out to eat, shopping, taking my sweet time to get out of bed or get ready and/or go see a movie are just a few indulgences I take when I feel myself breaking down. And yes, I do indulge in some things when I’m not on the edge. But 99% of the time, I validate my indulgences when I’ve exhausted myself to the point that I need to create my own forms of self-acceptance and self-appreciation.

Self indulgence shouldn’t be a bad habit, but use responsibly.

Of course, like most things, excessive amounts can form bad habits, i.e, shopping when you know you ain’t got no money (which I’ve done) or taking your sweet little time when you know you late for work or school (which I’ve done too).

So ya, I’m self-indulgent.

Need me for an event tomorrow night? Sorry, I didn’t sleep last night, and I know I won't tonight. So ya tomorrow, I’m making the time to catch up.

Need me to take on an extra project that’s due soon? Naw. I need time to do my hair this week, because my natural thickness and I are having a misunderstanding. And I gotta resolve that ish ASAP.

These may sound like excuses. But mind you, I do my work. It’s when I’ve exhausted myself after hustling too hard that I self-indulge. Maybe I wouldn’t have these moments of self-indulgence if I set up a healthy self-care routine.

But I’m learning.

So I accept my self indulgence even if it’s seen as a narcissistic trait.

Character Trait #8: Laidback

I’m laid...back with my mind on my money and my money on my mind.

Though thinking about money is cool and all, I just have a laidback personality. I love chillin’ with family and friends. And I love having LazBoy, Tempur-Pedic laidback vibes. However, sometimes this can be confused as lazy. Which I won’t lie, I am that too. But to what extent?

Being laid back is still having enough energy to complete some form of physical action or emotional response. For example, I chill with the fam, kick it with friends, go out and eat or Netflix and chill (not like that though).

Laziness, however, is literally you and bae time and nobody else.

When I say “bae” I mean your bed #baeallday

But I embody my laziness after I did something that needs well deserved rest, i.e., work from 6am - 5pm or complete an important design project or plan and host an event, etc.

And sometimes, no lie, all of this can happen in one day.

I mean what is sleep?! Am I right?

So when I boot up my Netflix, fluff out my pillow, grab me my sofritas bowl from Chipotle and clock out for nine hour nap intervals, it’s because I hustled HARD. Now, I’m just rewarding my body for keeping up with me. However, it can come off as laziness. And because of that perspective, I sacrifice my laidback energy for my hustla’s snapback and just move forward. But sometimes my laidback personality shines through.

Cause at the end of the day, all I want to do is chill. Is that so much to ask? Well with my ambitions, it can be.

Character Trait #9: Balanced

This is probably the trait I relate to the most. Mainly because, I’m constantly striving to live a balanced life as well as provide that balance for others. On my 22nd birthday, my “daughter” and I went to get Libra tattoos.

And the night before, I found a jagged Libra sign that I knew that I wanted. So I paid the guy about 80 bucks (including tip) and have now been rockin’ it for two years. For me, this tattoo with its jagged scales means that “balance cannot be achieved without struggle”.

Every time I hear the word balance especially in reference to my life, it makes my life sound so easy. That it didn’t take a raging battle, some violent storms, and heated conversations to reach this point. And most of this mainly happened internally.

But if you’ve ever seen or used a scale, you can see the push and pull momentum of both sides fighting. Trying to increase itself so that it’s not the side that loses the most in the end. So when I measure my life, my skills, my experiences, my ambitions, the people I’ve met as well as my family, my extended family and my friends that I hold dear to my heart, I know that I have to fight with myself in order for me not to be consumed by one person, family member, friend, experience, skill or ambition. That I have to find a balance for all of these things. Because to me, they are equally important. So I struggle to be balanced. Yet the struggle is worth the reward. And I’m confident in myself to weather more storms. Hell my full name means “achieving God’s wealth through adversity.” So best believe that I got this.

To sum up these Libra traits, I’m indecisive. I can’t say No. I’m charming. I’m romantic. I’m detached. I’m solution-oriented. I’m self indulgent. I’m laidback. And I’m balanced.

Am I Libra? Yes. But that’s just a title to list some of the traits that I naturally exhibit. Doesn’t matter if it’s positive, negative or neutral, it’s who I am. And if these qualities make me a Libra, then it is what it is. I can only be myself. And I’m the #1 person who needs to accept me first.

Mic Drop Thought Provoker:

What about you? What “Libra” traits resonated with your spirit? In general, what traits about yourself are you still learning to accept?”

Feel inspired? Want to share? Be a part of the conversation in the comment section below.